Mary Carson
show details 8:26 PM (0 minutes ago)
To be Expected

Having finished the chemo I am now starting what I have been told is the roughest period. My blood pressure dropped and I was a bit nauseous (you don’t need to know all the details). Then my picc line had to be replaced and my temperature spiked to 102. At least the massage therapist dropped by and gave me another foot massage.

The funny thing is that with with all the amazing medicines and great care, I recovered quickly from each bad moment and now I am feeling pretty good.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day and I can get to the 15th floor for decoupage or whatever. I also intend to start my very useful list of things to bring along when you go to the hospital.
As they say, tomorrow is another day.

The End of Chemo


A New Phase
Tonight I come to the end of the actual chemo. This is a good thing, I guess. At least it is a milestone. For the next week I will be living without a real immune system. Any bug that I catch could mean trouble. It seems there are also bugs (not the scientific term, but you know what I mean) which reside in my body which could give me trouble.
Now is when I am really, really, really,really glad to be at Memorial Sloan- Kettering. I know they’ve got my back. Whatever problems appear in the next week (and I am told there will be problems) I know that these smart people will bring all their vast experience, brain power, professionalism and compassion  to the care they give me.
I thank them for being here for me…


Brief note to my Subscribers


To my dear subscribers:

For the past three days I have lost my blog just before publishing it. Just so you know…I have been hitting the Save Draft button again and again again as I write, so please do not nag). This has been very frustrating. Ronnie keeps telling me to check the trash, but I can’t seem to get find it or get back my brilliant posts. Sooo…I am posting unedited posts as I go along. This means that my subscribers are getting some really dumb stuff (i.e. Ann Boleyn not Ann Bollywood ). If you want an edited version of my brilliance, please go to a recent update…or maybe you just find my mistakes amusing. (p.s.It is not nice to laugh at sick people.)

Hopefully some computer minded friend will help me solve this problem. In the mean time, a sense of humor goes a long way.

p.p.s. If you want to subscribe to my blog, hit the FOLLOW button in the lower right hand corner of the screen…no pressure, but I am rather amusing.


Not a Bad Day

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1. Slept well, thanks in part to Ambian…or whatever the hell they gave me.

2. Breakfast. Feeling OK so went for a spinach omelet and a bagel. I asked for waffles to go with the omelet, but it seems that is not possible. My complaining did no good …so a bagel it was.

3. After rounds with the cute doctors, it was off to the Recreation Room for Woodworking, where I glued together a tissue box and then decoupaged it with photos from the art folder. I included a painting of Ann Boleyn, a personal favorite. I believe that my tissue box is unique in all the world.

4. Visit from Michael, who had me sign all sorts of papers. He is my hero! Matthew is working with a headhunter,  so he might soon be gainfully employed in the near future!

5. Took a well earned nap.

6. THE WATER IS FINALLY SAFE so I took a shower! Heavenly, after a week of moist wipes. I even washed my hair (for maybe the last time (sigh).

7. Had a cat scan as part of some cancer research thing. I like to think my father would be proud of me.

8. Skyped with Maggie. She was sitting in front of a house in Raleigh, Virginia getting eaten by bugs. Tomorrow Spirit Family records and then they head back to Brooklyn. Skype seems as close to magic as anything I know.

8. Big dinner. Write and rewrite this blog (The computer ate it yet again even though I hit “save” about a million times…really I did.)

9. Take the Ambian and I off to dreamland.

Almost one Week


How’s it Going

First of all if you must have this rotten disease, this is the place to be. It is full of the most amazing, compassionate people.

The night before last I had to deal with nausea for the first time. It is what I have most been dreading about this whole thing. Luckily, after several late night rings, I got a medicine which both helped with the nausea and put me to sleep. Thank goodness for people who work at night.

Today the nausea was under control, more or less. but I felt pretty weak and just plain down. This afternoon I got a bag of someones blood (thank you someone). So now I am not nauseous  and feeling stronger , if a bit depressed. I must say, sitting here writing is a good thing. Soon I will go to bed feeling I have accomplished something.

Some Good Stuff

1. Ronnie came and helped me  to figure out my new I Pad..or at least start to figure it out.

2. Michael brought a goody bag of useful stuff (old Tee Shirts with bull clips to hold them together etc.).

3. Matthew helped with computer issues such as reducing the font size when for no clear reason it went gigantic. (I guess the PhD was useful after all)

4. Gail’s bag of silly hats arrived. My hair is just starting to fall out. Did you know the gray goes first? I think I can deal with this. The Dream Catcher Earrings I made yesterday in the recreation center will look very dramatic with the bald head.

So now I will drink the last of my melted Haagen Dazs and go to bed. There is still a lot to be grateful for.



My First Thank You

This is Ronnie. Her computer is the Apple on the left. My computer is the PC on the right. Here at Sloan-Kettering it seems that the Firefox, which Matthew put on my computer, will not open my G Mail. This was a problem as I live through my G Mail. For several days Ronnie was checking my account with her Apple from her home in New Jersey and forwarding it to my Yahoo account…which was  a pain, but a lot better then not getting my mail at all (Thank you Ronnie). Finally, when she came to visit we somehow determined that she could load Safari onto my PC, and thus allow me to get directly to my G Mail. And wiz that she is, this was accomplished. (Again, Thank You Ronnie)

Ronnie is also one of the people who told me to get my butt over to Sloan-Kettering. Roosevelt Hospital is fine for some stuff, but for cancer, this is the place to be. Ronnie’s daughter Becky was cured here several years ago so Ronnie really knows her stuff (Yet again, Thank You Ronnie).

I am grateful for her good advice and help and for all she will be doing to help me through this in the months to come.

Friendship, thy name is Ronnie.

So You Want To Visit Me In the Hospital?

It seems I have more friends then I knew. Some of you (Hi Peggie!) have dropped by. Others say they want to come. While there are some people I would love to see in person, too many visitors is maybe not great idea, and in this age of Skype really not necessary. My address is mary.stetten.carson.  A virtual Mary is better then no Mary at all. And there are no germs  My immune  system is gradually (and temporarily) shutting down,so this is no time for a party.

So sign up for Skype and get it touch. It’s  almost as good as really being there, and it’s free! Sooo…I look forward to seeing some of your beautiful faces in the very near future. Shoot me an e-mail if you want to cyber-visit.

Snail Mail

My current address is…

Mary Carson

Room 1232

Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center

1275 York Ave.

New York, NY 10065

though computer communication works fine for me.

Please no flowers (not allowed) or food (they feed me too much already) . If you want to send a funny card I guess I can’t stop you…but really, e-mail works for me.

Ready, Set, Go


Go Chemo Go: Rah, Rah, Rah

This is my room. Not to shabby. My room is on 12th floor, where everyone has leukemia. It is a very nice room. I have a high tech bed which not only goes up and down but also vibrates, which is a good thing. I have a great view looking west toward my home on the Upper West Side.

Last night I started the Chemo. I get Daunorubicin for three days and and Cytarabine for five days after which my immune system will be shot and my hair will fall out (bummer). You can read about these drugs on-line, but I doubt you will. On the first night my blood pressure dropped and I woke up around 2:00am feeling week and tingly. By morning, thankfully, I  was my old self ready to face the day.

Maggie will come and help cut off most of my hair when the time is right. Is this one of those mother/daughter bonding things?

The drug cocktails which I get are specially prepared for my by my team (henceforth known as Team Mary). I thank them in advance for their efforts.

See that tall thing in the middle of the room. I am told that he is going to be “my new best friend”. He follows me everywhere…across my room, on my laps in the hall,  even into  the bathroom. I have therefore decided to name him Stalker.

Stalker Gets a Dream Catcher

The best thing that happened today is that I went to a Dream Catcher Workshop on the 15th floor  and learned how to make a dream catcher. It seems the strings catch your dreams while the nightmares slip through the hole in the middle. Stalker will carry my dream catcher along with the drugs which will enter my body and make we well. Thank you Stalker.

More stuff happened today, some good, some sad, but I really must get some sleep.

And so to bed, perchance to dream…

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