There are times, often in the middle of the long, dark nights, when that part of my brain which holds the fear and the sadness breaks through and I find myself in tears. Last night I created a “mantra” which (for now at least) seems to help me get back to a more positive place.

I repeat silently to myself, “live for today, live for today, live for today, live for today”.

There is a place for sadness…but the rational part of my brain knows that ultimately it is not helpful in the day to day business of getting me through this thing, which came out of nowhere and  took over my life.

I give you a poem by the great John Keats (1795-1821), who died too young…

 
WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be  
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,  
Before high pil`d books, in charact’ry,  
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;  
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,  
And feel that I may never live to trace  
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;  
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!  
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power  
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore  
  Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,  
  Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

 

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